Why Most B2B Brands Suck (And How to Not Be One of Them)
Let’s rip the Band-Aid off:
Most B2B brands suck.
Yep, I said it. Out loud. In bold. In public.
And before you clutch your pearls or spit out your lukewarm marketing coffee, let me assure you, this isn’t an uninformed opinion. This is coming from someone deep in the trenches of B2B marketing. I live it. I breathe it. I’ve watched countless brands swing and miss at building real connections with their audiences.
Now, let’s be fair, there are exceptions. I’ve had the pleasure of working with some B2B brands that truly get it. But they are the minority in a sea of “meh.”
So what’s going on? Why do so many B2B brands fall flat on their overly corporate faces?
1. They Forget That Their Audience Has a Pulse
Repeat after me:
B2B marketing is still marketing to humans.
Somewhere along the way, many B2B brands bought into the myth that because they’re marketing to businesses, they have to sound like a boardroom full of robots. Cue the jargon, the buzzwords, the soulless tone that reads like it was generated by an AI stuck in 2004.
Here’s the problem: behind every “enterprise-level solution” is an actual person. A person who has a name, emotions, career goals, a dog named Luna, and a fridge full of oat milk.
Yet, most B2B brands speak to that person like they’re an emotionless spreadsheet. It’s all “synergise your cross-functional integrations”
Professionalism doesn’t mean personality has to die. You can be credible and compelling. Actually, you should be both. Otherwise, you’re just another forgettable logo in a LinkedIn scroll.
2. They’ve Abandoned Storytelling
Somewhere, somehow, B2B marketers got the idea that storytelling is just for B2C brands. You know, the Nikes, the Apples, the beer commercials that make you cry.
Wrong. So wrong.
The truth? B2B buyers crave stories too.
They want to know why you exist, how you solve problems, and what makes you different. And no, listing your product features like a car manual does not count as a story.
Stories create emotional connections. They simplify complexity. They make your brand memorable. If you want your prospects to remember you when they’re knee-deep in vendor comparisons, you’d better be telling a story worth remembering, not just serving up another snoozefest white paper.
3. They Think It’s All About Them
Here’s a brutal truth:
Your customers don’t care about your 17-step onboarding process or how many awards you’ve won.
What they do care about?
Themselves.
Their problems. Their pain. Their goals.
Yet most B2B brands are stuck in a narcissistic spiral of “Look at us! Look at what we do!” instead of “Here’s how we make your life better.” It's like a first date where your dinner partner just keeps showing you photos of their cat for two hours. (Cute cat. Still annoying.)
Great brands put the customer at the centre of the story. They talk less about themselves and more about what they solve. They don’t just say what they do, they say why it matters to you.
So ask yourself: are you obsessing over your solution, or are you obsessing over the problem it solves?
4. They’re Creatively... Constipated
You know the look:
Blue. Grey. Generic stock images of handshakes. A homepage that feels like it was designed in PowerPoint.
Too many B2B brands are trapped in the illusion that being boring equals being credible.
Just because you’re selling software, cloud infrastructure, or industrial widgets doesn’t mean your marketing has to look like a TPS report. In fact, injecting creativity — visually and verbally — is how you stand out in a saturated, sameness-soaked space.
Be bold. Be weird (when it fits). Take a design risk. Crack a joke. Embrace metaphors. Use vibrant colors. Hire that copywriter who knows what a punchline is. Your buyers will thank you for it — even the “serious” ones in procurement.
So, What Now?
Let’s recap:
Most B2B brands suck.
Why? Because they:
Treat buyers like robots.
Ignore storytelling.
Can’t stop talking about themselves.
Fear creativity like it’s contagious.
But here’s the good news — you don’t have to suck.
You can build a B2B brand that makes people feel something. A brand that tells a story. A brand that prioritises the customer and embraces originality. One that actually sticks in someone’s brain longer than a LinkedIn ad scroll.
It’s time to break free from the beige box of B2B mediocrity.
Time to act more human.
Time to be more bold.
Time to market like it actually matters.
So go on. Inject some life into your brand. Make your audience feel. And for the love of all things strategic — stop sucking.
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